Bad Habit. Real Bad.
Yowza. I’ve got stuff to work on.
Lately the Lord has blessed me in that He has revealed to me the struggles and sins in my life that I myself had not been aware. Refinement into the Lord’s image is a blessing in itself; this I have lately realized as well.
To cut to the chase and to not waste space by talking about my past (which is good to learn from, but not to dwell on), I just gotta say something that plagues my heart and just gets in the way. And that thing is selfishness.
“… What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” James 4:14
We are only here for a little while. We are a mist that is non-lasting (on the Earth, at least). We only have so little time to make a mark on the Earth. Almost always I will forget this vital truth. But that doesn’t mean that it is any less true.
The more I spend time with the Lord, the more I see the selfishness in my heart. And the further I see it, the more I want to do away with it. And to do that, I must set my eyes on things eternal. On things unseen. On the Lord. So many times I reflect on myself and on circumstances and situations in which I myself may be “glorified”. But that’s just mumbo-jumbo nonsense. What in me is truly worthy of being glorified?!
Nada. It’s the Lord’s light that I want others to see in me, not any worldly accomplishments or ambitions. God alone is worthy of praise. He is the Rock on which I should stand. Yet, lately I’ve been standing on my own rock, visiting God every now and then.
Buuuuttt that didn’t work out so well. Because I am an unstable, fallen girl, I need my Dad to depend on. If I depend on myself and live for success and happiness, it gets me nothing but failure.
Even Jesus himself lived selflessly on the earth. What does that say? Well it makes me feel very, very small. Because Jesus is absolute perfection. And he died as a sacrifice. For me, for you, for all God’s children. He gave himself away so that we may have life. So when I compare his life to mine… our lives are actually incomparable. He is perfect. Yet He humbled himself and loved others selflessly. And here I am, really far from perfect, living to please myself and to make myself comfortable. Yikes. There’s something wrong with that picture. It’s a habit I am striving to rise above. But I need the Lord to do that.
So, to get to the point, selfishness gets us nowhere. God is all that lasts. So when I selfishly buy myself things, try to get ahead, set selfish ambitions for myself, etc… what does that actually do for me in the long run? Nothing. Things of the world vanish. Like a mist. So I must set my eyes on the Lord. Work and speak and love for His glory, because there is nothing in me that needs to be glorified. God’s got it figured out. And I don’t.
So I choose to live for Jesus. I will have times of failure and times of success. But in the bigger picture, it is all for Him. God is bigger than anything in the world. Our lives are a mist compared to the immense greatness that is the great I AM. He. Is. Worthy. Not us.
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
- Phil. 2:5-11
